After their last day of a good job, normal people usually talk of the blessings they had during that job. BUMP THAT, THAT’S BORING. I’m Tim. Look up abnormal in the dictionary and you will be visually accosted with pictures of me doing:
Of course I was beyond blessed with my job, and I may write a blog about that as well… BUT FIRST let’s focus on what most people don’t. The funny people that DIDN’T like me. In every aspect of life you will always come across at least SOME people that just don’t like you. Doesn’t matter how nice you are, how sincere you are, they just hate your guts. But that’s okay. Why? Because instead of getting all depressed that someone doesn’t like me, I now have a funny story to tell all of you!
When I sit and think… “who didn’t like me at my job?” there are three people that come to mind. We are going to go about naming this three in a very Seinfeld-ish fashion (Remember his soup nazi?). First there was the Laughter Nazi, then came the Noise Nazi, and it all ended with the Existence Nazi.
The Tale of the Laughter Nazi:
There is not a day… There is not 10 minutes that goes by where there is not at least someone laughing in the clinic I worked at. And that’s a good thing. Yes, there are sometimes patients that, due to pain, are more sensitive to noise and we understand and account for that. Then… there are some patients that just hate your laugh period. No sensitivity. The fact that this laugh they hear is coming specifically from your vocal apparatus is completely unacceptable.
This kind, gentle spoken woman called out to me from one of the patient rooms.
“Tim sit down I gotta tell you something.”
I sit down thinking “yay! Another heart to heart with a patient. I love these.”
She starts out good, “Tim you are such a wonderful guy”
You know… I am aren’t I? Yes please continue this adequate amount of ego boosting madam. I’m sitting here like
“But you should really to tone your laugh down”
So, as any civil gentleman would do, I told her she really needed to tone down HER VITALS and beat her with a stick... OK, no I didn’t. Actually, I started laughing (an awkward laugh as I had no idea what to say) which probably wasn’t the right response either right after she just said she didn’t like my laugh. “Yeah, I’ll try to work on that, sorry. Are you sensitive to sound?” Then dangit, do you know what that sweet, innocent, elderly woman answered?, “Oh heavens no, I just don’t like your laugh.”
WELL NOW IM LIKE
And that’s the end of the story! That was it. I didn’t know what to think then, and im not quite sure what to think now haha. Oops… just laughed. Sorry!
The Tale of the Noise Nazi:
Another eccentric character carried around ear plugs everywhere he went. Whenever anyone or anything would project a sound higher than .003 decibels he would yell GAHH ITS SO LOUD IN HERE and walk off plunging his ear plugs into his ears as far as he could. I swear, he was forcing those babies so far in his ears I was waiting for his arm to pop through the opposite ear!
The irony is… you would figure this man, who is so sensitive to sound, to be a soft spoken person. Nay. Nay my child. He was one of our LOUDEST patients (even without the ear plugs in). “Inside voice” was not just unknown to him. I’m pretty sure he actively took that pesky nonsense known as “Inside voice” and loaded it onto his “I don’t Care-apult” and launched it into Bellow-donia AKA HollaTown, God save the Scream. Nonetheless, we put him in his own, quiet, room to make him happy.
Now this guy didn’t necessarily hate me… Actually for some reason this guy loved me. So I would work with him (QUIETLY!), but he always complained of someone outside the door that was just unbearably loud, and out came his ear plugs. And in went those fingers. I asked him if he was trying to scratch his brain. He busted out laughing with deafening volume. I looked at him to make sure he was okay with the amount of sound that he just made. He was perfectly fine. Chill as could be. I’m over here like
He would continue to complain about this supposed loud-noise maker. I finally figured out it was the radio we had going. This radio is so NOT loud, I’m pretty sure bats don’t even hear it.
If quietness was loudness than that really quiet radio would be the loudest thing on the planet. Wait… that was a horrible analogy.
ANYWAYS, Did I tell him that it was the radio? No. No I did not. I told him it was my co-worker Ryan. Ryan does not exist. I have no co-worker named Ryan. Did he know that? No. No he did not. He would never say anything, but every time he stepped out of that room you could see he was on the prowl, his eyes darting around looking for this horribly offense Ryan jerk.
On a related note, the radio now has an official name tag.
The Tale of the Existence Nazi:
This lady…. This one wins. Have you ever had someone, without cause, just absolutely hate your guts? Yeah me too, and it was THIS person. The fact that I am living on this woman’s planet is just unacceptable. The sound of me drawing in life giving oxygen into my lungs was nails on a chalk board to this one. She didn’t say anything, but her face said it all. She had a death stare that could make the Kracken crap itself, keel over, die, and then crap itself again.
Keep in mind that I NEVER worked with this lady, save for one time. And that one time, I pampered her. Gave her extra time on the modalities, ran and got her water, brought her 10,000lb bag she called a purse from the other side of the room for her, told her I loved her outfit, etc. And the entire time, she was giving me the evil eye, the wretched wink, the terrible stare.
Every other time she came in, I would be minding my own business working with someone else on the other side of the room. I would feel like someone was watching me. I would look over only to be greeted by death staring me in the face. Other days, when it was slow, I sat there quietly and folded laundry or cleaned. Again I would get this IM BEING WATCHED feeling. I look up and BAM. Skeletor. Angry lady trying to activate her laser vision to melt my soul.
Then I thought, you know, maybe that’s just her face. I wasn’t trying to be mean but literally every time I saw her face it was like that. So I crept around the corner out of sight, a co-worker comes up to her and starts talking. Boom. A smile, face completely changes.
“Yeah dude… she totally hates you hahaha” the co-worker needlessly confirmed.
So there you have it. The people who hated me haha.
With these lighter-hearted stories I laugh, but many can get bogged down by the disapproval of others. Especially when it is in an area you are passionate about. For some it can become almost crippling. To you, I leave you with these verses
Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.