When it comes to stories and life events, people can get much more out of your experiences by living it with you minute by minute. Other times, its best to wait and gain perspective. This time, I waited and I'm glad I did.
"Life sucks and then you die". That was my thought, my motto for a couple of months. And to an extent, if you leave out a very important aspect (an aspect we will discuss later in this post), that statement can be true. I became ill, yet again. Not with the same illness as before, but I was sure getting worried. It was about 2 months and I felt increasingly worse each day. I got to the point where I was coughing so hard, so often they thought I misplaced a rib, had a fever that reached 106, kept puking VIOLENTLY, lossed 25 pounds, head to toe rash, etc. It ended up being the measles with some other complications including 2 partially collapsed lungs. Yes I was vaccinated, but apparently I was a part of the 1% that just didn't "take" to the vaccine. And before anyone asks, YES I still wholeheartedly support vaccinations. VACCINATE ALL THE THINGS!
If this was a one time sickness, I would not have been so downcast. But most of you know my story already and my history with illness. Now what? Sick again? and then AGAIN? Instead of one loooong illness, I now faced multiple ones in rapid succession. Can I catch a break here?!
So there I was in ER, but not just regular ER. Shrink that ER down to a child size. Yes, they put me in the children's ER for a lack of room in the big boy center (My mom must have told them stories). This pediatric ER was completely fine and wonderful to stay in, that is if you were a 3 foot parka wearing Eskimo midget that was only staying there for a few hours. Unfortunately, I am not a midget. So here I am like:
AND laying on my happy meal size bed like:
A good foot or foot and a half of me was hanging off the edge. I half expected them to whip out a child size hospital gown too. I mean, I have the legs for it don't get me wrong, but you really don't want to see THAT much Tim. And lastly, the "negative pressure" room was so drafty and cold I swear my dangly bits were frozen to my leg. You heard me. I started laughing at the scene, always trying to find the humor in any situation. But staying in that condition for DAYS, tends to suck out any humor that may have been found before. Dr. Bozo kept wanting to check out my junk for some reason, and then here comes 3 interns, oh and then 2 more residents, oh look a homeless guy they picked up off the street to come help them assess my ... assets. Well GOOD LUCK, IT'S FROZEN TO MY THIGH DR. PERVY -________- .
As I was sitting there, lonely, cold, angry, hurt and brooding about how unfair life is, this blood curdling screaming and crying started up in the middle of the night and went on for a day or so. I wanted to go out there and see what it was, but I was under "quarantine" and not allowed outside. I finally found out, while I was sitting there in my ice box feeling sorry for myself and very justified in feeling so, the crying came from a woman who had lost her son. She laid there all night and all day weeping over her 3 year old boy. That put a quick end to my own self-pity. However, now the crying was even more unbearable to hear. To say it was depressing would be an understatement. My heart broke for this woman. And yes, my heart broke for myself. All I wanted to do was go to her and wrap my arms around her. Life sucks.... and then you die. Does this statement really hold true?
The answer is two fold. The first part, I answered in my previous post. This is a broken world. There will be heart ache and God gives you the tools to fight against these slings and arrows of the enemy.
The second was discovered by a pretty wise dude who once saw life as utterly vain. Meaningless... MEANINGLESS is everything in life he would say. From desires, to hard work, to wisdom. Just as a fool dies and is forgotten so too is the wise, the great, wealthy, the unwealthy, the healthy and the ill, the cheaters and the upright. The deeds you do will melt away, the success you've created will disappear. No matter who you are, this thought seeps into everyone's mind from time to time. What this man, Solomon, finally understood after watching people try to GET the most out life but ultimately being as successful as grasping at the wind was this: Life is not the ultimate end. Our treasures, our hope, our future does not lie in this life. The grass withers and the flowers fall, the mountains will crumble and the seas dry up, Earth itself will fade away but the Lord endures forever. Yes, without God, everything IS meaningless and you BETTER get as much out of life as possible, because once it's over, you are done pal. There is no reasoning, there is no hope in a picture like that and life get depressing real quick when faced with life changing hardships. With God, there is a future, there is hope. This life is not all we have. We may endure heart ache, pain, and yes even death but 1) Contrary to popular belief death is not the worst thing that can happen to you. Losing your eternal soul is and 2) we have everlasting life where "He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." (Revelations 21:4).
Oh no! I just preached! Sue me.
John 3:16 "For God so loved the world, He gave His only son that whoever believes in Him shall not die but have eternal life"
Ecclesiastes 7:1 "A good name is better than precious ointment, and the day of death better than the day of one's birth"
Phillippians 1:21 "For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain."