After their last day of a good job, normal people usually talk
of the blessings they had during that job. BUMP THAT, THAT’S BORING. I’m Tim.
Look up abnormal in the dictionary and you will be visually accosted with
pictures of me doing:
OR
Of course I was beyond blessed with my job, and I may write
a blog about that as well… BUT FIRST let’s focus on what most people don’t. The
funny people that DIDN’T like me. In every aspect of life you will always come across
at least SOME people that just don’t like you. Doesn’t matter how nice you are,
how sincere you are, they just hate your guts. But that’s okay. Why? Because
instead of getting all depressed that someone doesn’t like me, I now have a
funny story to tell all of you!
When I sit and think… “who didn’t like me at my job?” there
are three people that come to mind. We are going to go about naming this three
in a very Seinfeld-ish fashion (Remember his soup nazi?). First there was the
Laughter Nazi, then came the Noise Nazi, and it all ended with the Existence
Nazi.
The Tale of the Laughter Nazi:
There is not a day… There is not 10 minutes that goes by
where there is not at least someone
laughing in the clinic I worked at. And that’s a good thing. Yes, there are
sometimes patients that, due to pain, are more sensitive to noise and we
understand and account for that. Then… there are some patients that just hate
your laugh period. No sensitivity. The fact that this laugh they hear is coming
specifically from your vocal apparatus is completely unacceptable.
This kind, gentle spoken woman called out to me from one of
the patient rooms.
“Tim sit down I gotta
tell you something.”
I sit down thinking “yay! Another heart to heart with a
patient. I love these.”
She starts out good, “Tim you are such a wonderful guy”
You know… I am aren’t I? Yes please continue this adequate
amount of ego boosting madam. I’m sitting here like
“But you should really to tone your laugh down”
…
So, as any civil gentleman would do, I told her she really
needed to tone down HER VITALS and beat her with a stick... OK, no I didn’t.
Actually, I started laughing (an awkward laugh as I had no idea what to say)
which probably wasn’t the right response either right after she just said she
didn’t like my laugh. “Yeah, I’ll try to work on that, sorry. Are you sensitive
to sound?” Then dangit, do you know what that sweet, innocent, elderly woman
answered?, “Oh heavens no, I just don’t like your laugh.”
WELL NOW IM LIKE
…..
And that’s the end of the story! That was it. I didn’t know
what to think then, and im not quite sure what to think now haha. Oops… just
laughed. Sorry!
The Tale of the Noise Nazi:
Another eccentric character carried around ear plugs
everywhere he went. Whenever anyone or anything would project a sound higher
than .003 decibels he would yell GAHH ITS SO LOUD IN HERE and walk off plunging
his ear plugs into his ears as far as he could. I swear, he was forcing those
babies so far in his ears I was waiting for his arm to pop through the opposite
ear!
The irony is… you would figure this man, who is so sensitive
to sound, to be a soft spoken person. Nay. Nay my child. He was one of our LOUDEST
patients (even without the ear plugs in). “Inside voice” was not just unknown
to him. I’m pretty sure he actively took that pesky nonsense known as “Inside
voice” and loaded it onto his “I don’t Care-apult” and launched it into Bellow-donia
AKA HollaTown, God save the Scream. Nonetheless, we put him in his own, quiet,
room to make him happy.
Now this guy didn’t necessarily hate me… Actually for some
reason this guy loved me. So I would work with him (QUIETLY!), but he always
complained of someone outside the door that was just unbearably loud, and out
came his ear plugs. And in went those fingers. I asked him if he was trying to
scratch his brain. He busted out laughing with deafening volume. I looked at
him to make sure he was okay with the amount of sound that he just made. He was
perfectly fine. Chill as could be. I’m over here like
He would continue to complain about this supposed loud-noise
maker. I finally figured out it was the radio we had going. This radio is so
NOT loud, I’m pretty sure bats don’t even hear it.
If quietness was
loudness than that really quiet radio would be the loudest thing on the planet.
Wait… that was a horrible analogy.
ANYWAYS, Did I tell
him that it was the radio? No. No I did not. I told him it was my co-worker
Ryan. Ryan does not exist. I have no
co-worker named Ryan. Did he know that? No. No he did not. He would never say
anything, but every time he stepped out of that room you could see he was on
the prowl, his eyes darting around looking for this horribly offense Ryan jerk.
On a related note, the radio now has an official name tag.
The Tale of the Existence Nazi:
This lady…. This one
wins. Have you ever had someone, without cause, just absolutely hate your guts?
Yeah me too, and it was THIS person. The
fact that I am living on this woman’s planet is just unacceptable. The sound of
me drawing in life giving oxygen into my lungs was nails on a chalk board to
this one. She didn’t say anything, but her face said it all. She had a death
stare that could make the Kracken crap itself, keel over, die, and then crap
itself again.
Keep in mind that I NEVER worked with this lady, save for
one time. And that one time, I pampered her. Gave her extra time on the
modalities, ran and got her water, brought her 10,000lb bag she called a purse
from the other side of the room for her, told her I loved her outfit, etc. And
the entire time, she was giving me the evil eye, the wretched wink, the
terrible stare.
Every other time she came in, I would be minding my own
business working with someone else on the other side of the room. I would feel
like someone was watching me. I would look over only to be greeted by death
staring me in the face. Other days, when it was slow, I sat there quietly and
folded laundry or cleaned. Again I would
get this IM BEING WATCHED feeling. I look up and BAM. Skeletor. Angry lady
trying to activate her laser vision to melt my soul.
Then I thought, you know, maybe that’s just her face. I wasn’t
trying to be mean but literally every time I saw her face it was like that. So
I crept around the corner out of sight, a co-worker comes up to her and starts
talking. Boom. A smile, face completely changes.
“Yeah dude… she totally hates you hahaha” the co-worker
needlessly confirmed.
So there you have it. The people who hated me haha.
With these lighter-hearted stories I laugh, but many can get
bogged down by the disapproval of others. Especially when it is in an area you
are passionate about. For some it can become almost crippling. To you, I leave
you with these verses
Galatians 1:10
Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying
to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a
servant of Christ.
