Roommate Matching

I had to stop my story about two old patients talking smack to about each others’ mamas mid-blog to bring you this story. And normally nothing tops old men throwing maternal jabs and sarcastic motivations at each other… except for roommate matching. 

So here I am, making a profile of my interests, hobbies, living habits, etc. I sift through other mens’ profiles reading excerpts like “I’m a pretty active guy, love to work out and stay fit. Love dogs. Can be shy at times until I get to know you…” 

That was about the time I started to keegle. I’ve never felt the need to peruse a gay online dating site before, but this is starting to sound A LOT like one. Roommate matching just became faaabulouuusssss! I’m just waiting for the profile that reads “I enjoy long walks on the beach, and cuddling up to watch The Notebook.” Here I am, checking out other dudes’ profiles to see if they are a good fit for me. I message some that sound like they could be at least not total dingleberries, and when I open up my email the next day to see a lack of response, I feel rejected. COME ON roommate match #2, we are 98% compatible! LET ME LOVE YOU! 

Then when I don’t hit it off with the guy I want, I lower my standards and try again. This is beginning to sound like I need relational counseling.  

That’s it. I’m going to start messing with these people. You asked for it Roommate Matching Powers That Be. While discussing school and study habits, I’m going to throw in there my passion for jelly assortments and favorite wine tasting destinations. I kidd you not Kemosabe. I’m keeping this blog open as a draft and will be updating it with the responses I get from the guys. Stay tuned!

*UPDATE  1*

Me: “My MAN! How goes it? I’m a pretty active guy myself, it’d be cool to have a workout partner. You ever do open water swims?”

Roommate match 1: “Hey Tim nice to hear from you. How are things? I have not. I’m more of a leisure runner than anything else. I do crossfit, but I just started and am nowhere near ‘fit’ yet.”

Me: “Fine with me! I can’t wait to do my run workouts on a beach! I was thinking, after running we could, you know, have nice long walks on the beach. Kinda helps clear the head. We could talk about our favorite kinds of toast. What you say?”

*No response yet*

*Update 2*

Me: “Hey you sound like a pretty cool dude. What’s your story?”

Roommate match 2: “Dear Tim, I am originally from South Korea and love to travel. I took a year off to work in a research lab and study for the MCAT…”

Me: “ Yeah I think I may get lonely, not having any family there. You down to watch My Little Pony with me? My previous roommate used to. It made me feel loved.”

Roommate match 2: “Im sorry, I would not feel comfortable with that. Good day”

Me: “LOVE ME!”

*Update 3*

Me: “So uh listen…. CAN I HAVE YO NUMBA? CAN I? CAN I HAVE IT? CAN I? CAAAN I? Can I please receive the secret code, that if dialed telephonically, will patch me over to you, which means it will be your beautiful numbaa?” 

Roommate match 3: “hahahaha dude... Roommates. NOW.”  

What’s beautiful about this is that some of these people may very well get stuck with me anyways lolololol.

Should future doctors be more mature than this? Absolutely not. I’ve spent enough time in the hospital to see what works and what doesn’t. The humor in a hospital can be juvenile, dark, and sometimes just weird. But what people don’t realize is it is a tool for dealing with the crap we see every day. Show me a doctor that can’t make light of SOME situations, and I will show you a doctor that will burn out and quit within the year. I’ve seen it again and again. On the flip-side, there are those that can laugh at themselves or situations they find themselves in. Those are the doctors that will wade through crap and blood for hours on end to save a life. Those are the doctors that have the fortitude to dive into the most horrifying of situations and wrench out that which is good. And humor doesn’t have to stay between just coworkers. I have seen humor bring people back to life. A crushed spirit will never allow a broken body to mend. Lift those spirits and the body will work miracles. Humor is not confined to just making someone laugh. It is a way of reaching people when nothing else will. It shows patients that doctors are not emotionally removed robots that fix up people like a mechanic fixes up cars. There is, and should be, emotion. Doctors: cry with your patients, pray with your patients, laugh with your patients. In this you will show the love required for healing. I’ve also learned you can never go by how someone reacts to what you do (within reason of course). Just like Patch Adams came across the angry, bed-pan throwing patient in the movie, I too have come across patients I thought just absolutely hated me. And again just like in Patch Adams, I was shocked and moved to learn that it was I that was requested to be by their side, to work with them, to get them to do what the other staff couldn’t, to hold their hand during their last moments. Sometimes being the “goofy one” also opens up the opportunity to be the patient’s motivation when the going gets tough, their comforter in sorrow, or their rock when all hope seems lost.

As quoted from Robin Williams as Patch Adams:

“What’s wrong with death, sir? What are we so mortally afraid of? Why can’t we treat death with a certain amount of humanity, and dignity, and decency, and god forbid maybe even humor. Death is not the enemy, gentlemen. If we’re going to fight a disease, let’s fight one of the most terrible diseases of all – indifference. Now I’ve sat in your schools and heard people lecture on transference and professional distance. Transference is inevitable, sir. Every human being has an impact on another. Why don’t we want that in a patient-doctor relationship? That’s why I’ve listened to your teachings and I believe they’re wrong. A doctor’s mission should be not just to prevent death, but also to improve the quality of life. That’s why you treat a disease, you win you lose. You treat a person I guarantee you’ll win no matter what the outcome.”

Proverbs 17:22

“A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.”

Colossians 4:6

Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.

Ecclesiastes 3:4

A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;